I wanted to start a used bookstore, but I didn’t know how to go about it. So I just bought a bunch of new books and waited.

When I first phoned in and signed up for Internet dating, the company took all my personal information, plus my credit card number. Then, after explaining how it all worked, the agent ended our call with, “Good luck.”

Now it’s nice to have good luck in any life endeavor (especially in the search to find true love), but some good luck wishes seem out of place. Like for the last fifteen years my doctor has said “good luck” after each visit. I find it discomforting that my doctor always utters these words. It’s something I’d expect to hear from a dealer in Vegas, but not from my physician!

So one day I said to him, “Do me a favor. Please don’t say ‘good luck’ at the end of my visit. Say something like, ‘You’ll be fine,’ or ‘Be well.’ Anything but ‘good luck.’”

Still, “good luck” is certainly appropriate in the world of dating, and even more so with online dating. There is an inordinate amount of luck needed just to have that one incredible profile (out of thousands) pop up on my screen. The one that might be “the one.”

Then I need more luck. She has to winnow me out from hundreds of other potential suitors. She has to reply positively to my email. We have to reach the phone call stage, and if all falls into place do a coffee or dinner date. And then we both have to find attraction, chemistry, shared interests and common values.

My friends often say, “It only takes one.” Yeah, and that’s true for buying lottery tickets, too. Let’s face it: when we write to someone online, we are basically saying to a stranger, “Let’s get into a lifelong relationship and have sex together.” You have to be pretty damn lucky to get that proposal to work.

I know first hand how difficult it all is, because I’ve met numerous women through online dating - and I’ve had no luck at all. Not one has panned out to be a relationship. And it’s all the fault of that agent who signed me up on the phone.

She should’ve just said to me, “Be well.”

MATCH POINT:
WE ALL ARE GRANTED A MINISCULE AMOUNT OF GOOD LUCK WHEN WE ENTER THIS WORLD. DON’T WASTE YOURS DATING ONLINE . BUY A LOTTERY TICKET INSTEAD.